22 May, Wednesday
16° C

The library of essays of Proakatemia

Shame. Shame. Shame. Shame.

Kirjoittanut: Linda Kivialho - tiimistä Value.

Esseen tyyppi: / esseepistettä.

Esseen arvioitu lukuaika on 3 minuuttia.



I read the book The subtle art of not giving as f*ck written by Mark Manson. It got me thinking about shame because it was presented in the book as one of the many things you shouldn’t give a f*ck about. It stops you from doing things you really want to do. Well, the whole point of the book is how not to care about the wrong things in life and how to know what things are the ones to care about. It actually really matters because one of the hardest things is to listen to yourself and live your own life.


I’ve been trying to eliminate the things in my life that doesn’t serve a purpose. Shame is a powerful feeling and it is really hard to ignore it. According to Manson we try to avoid pain and that is why we let things to affect our behaviour and choices. We just try to NOT feel pain. I can deal with pain but shame is a difficult one to handle. It is a complex combination.


I also watched this TED talk of Brené Brown about the power of vulnerability. It actually is one of the most viewed TED talks. Brown is a researcher that wanted to get to the bottom of shame. Tear it to pieces and find the pattern. Finally Brown found out that she could divide people in two groups: the ones who feel connected and the ones who don’t. The difference between these groups was that people who experienced connection and belonging felt also a sense of worthiness. They believed that they are worthy of connection.


Believing you deserve connection needs courage to be imperceft. That needs authenticity. What Brown found out was that connection is the result of authenticity. They believed that vulnerability was crucial and they embraced it. That is a really hard thing to accept because vulnerability is one of those things that brings you the feeling of shame and discomfort. Personally I hate it. I really do. Just like Brown. It doesn’t make me feel glorious or good at something. It makes me feel small and imperfect in a guilty kind of way. That is the reason it is so hard to master. You have to be willing to bear all the different kind of feelings that it brings up.


I would say that vulnerability is connected to everything. It is not only for personal life but also being a leader or doing marketing. You need to own this feature to succeed in all the fields. Why? Well, because you need vulnerability to create connection between people. You need the understanding about vulnerability to be able to see things through another peoples eyes and get a grasp on what people need and think. You can not give something to another person that you don’t give to yourself.


I would really like to now how being vulnerable correlates with success at Proakatemia. It has been showed in many different researches that vulnerability makes you more succesful because it creates a different kind of connection that is more likely to lead to increased collaboration, productivity, and cohesiveness. It is proven to be crucial in the wellbeing of a workplace.


If you could be authentic and vulnerable during the time in Proakatemia, would it take you further? My hypothesis is that if you can use the time here being vulnerable, it correlates with how you succeed after Proakatemia. If you only do something like selling because you can get a lot of money with it, the money doesn’t really have a value. But if you can be authentic and vulnerable during your studies, you probably will develope so much more as a person and also learn as a professional levels. That will make you more equipped for further success.


It is all connected in a holistic way. I think vulnerability is the core of wellbeing. It is connected to being happy and productive. Only by admitting to yourself who you are and what you want, you can bring it to business life and find the projects that you really want to do. I have been thinking a lot about the question ”What are you afraid of?”. Basically for me it means that what I would do if I wasn’t ashamed.

  • Arttu Myllys

    Mielenkiintoinen essee häpeän pelosta. Mielenkiintoista ajatella kuinka haavoittuvuus ja sen tunne vaikuttaa positiivisesti loppupeleissä. Itse näen tämän myöskin osaksi epämukavuusaluetta ja me kaikki tiedämme, että suurin osa oppimisesta syntyy juuri siellä. Kun mietin omia kokemuksia siitä, kuinka tunnen häpeää, haavoittuvuutta tai olen epämukavuusalueella, niin pystyn sanomaan, että ne ovat olleet itselle kaikista opettavaisimpia tilanteita. Syitä ja seurauksia joita haluaa jatkossa alitajuntaisesti välttää. Monesti häpeä tuntuu enemmän itsessä, kuin ulkopuolisessa ihmisessä. Esimerkiksi lavalla esiintyessä mokaaminen tuntuu 10 kertaa häpeällisemmältä esiintyjälle, kuin miten häpeällisenä yleisö sitä pitää. Toteutetaanko tiimissäsi kuinka tätä häpeän sietoa tai näkyykö häpeä jotenkin muuten toiminnassa?

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