Is it more important to be respected or liked?

Jacinda Lumme

The definition of being respected is the quality of being admired by many people for your qualities or achievements. To respect someone is to hold feelings of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. To be liked is when you are found pleasant or attractive and to like is to find a person agreeable, enjoyable, or satisfactory. Within the workplace being liked and respected each have their own benefits, however a leader cannot always be liked due to unpopular decisions they may have to make. An individual can be liked and not respected and vice versa of being respected but not liked or admired. Respect is earned whereas being liked is typically a consequence of the individual themselves, their personality and the way they carry themselves. 

Respected or liked as a leader?

Within leadership, the ability to garner respect from colleagues and individuals that you manage aids in establishing a healthy and productive work environment. As a leader it is inevitable that sometimes decisions need to be made that aren’t necessarily “popular” to yield better performance results, motivate team members and to serve the better good of the organisation. It can be effective to strike a balance between being liked and respected and is evident through a leader’s ability to make tough decisions whilst communicating the reasons behind the decisions. Research shows the ability to display vulnerability and be open with a team aids earning respect. In addition to this respect comes naturally when in positions of leadership and professionality. Typically employees respect individuals that already hold a level of respect for themselves. Reputation also comes into play on which the best balance between likeability and being respected comes through an individual’s reputation. 

When being a leader, one can be likeable which works well until a decision is needed to be made and the relationships with colleagues become harder and more delicate to navigate. When a leader is respected they are able to make decisions and calls that not everyone may be on board with. Despite the lack of agreement, individuals will still work in unison towards the aim due to an understanding of a greater good. In order to be an effective leader, decisions have to be made for the greater good of the business regardless of what people may think of the leader making the decisions. There will be situations where something will have to be compromised or reconsidered. Being a likeable leader that lacks being respected can be in some aspects limiting. 

Sources: 

• https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/balance-between-being-liked-respected-rajeev-nanda/#:~:text=It%20is%20certainly%20more%20valuable,Being%20liked%20is%20more%20important. 
• https://www.ipeccoaching.com/blog/the-difference-between-being-liked-and-respected 
• https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/respected 
• https://www.twcreativecoaching.com/blog/article/like_vs._respect_what_do_you_seek 
• https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/liked#:~:text=found%20pleasant%20or%20attractive%3B%20often,Synonyms%3A%20likable%2C%20likeable 
• https://www.huffpost.com/entry/is-it-better-to-be-liked_b_8656394