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The library of essays of Proakatemia

Why do people complain?

Kirjoittanut: Vincent Bitana - tiimistä Kaaos.

Esseen tyyppi: Akateeminen essee / 3 esseepistettä.
Esseen arvioitu lukuaika on 6 minuuttia.

Why do people complain?


A very interesting topic came to my mind while asking random people what they normally complain and how they cope with it. Interestingly some people complain about menial things in life either personal, work and school related. Complaining is a common kind of human communication, used to express unhappiness, seek understanding, and develop connections. This essay investigates the various reasons why individuals complain, delving into the psychological, social, and cultural factors that underpin this widespread habit.

Expressing Discomfort and Dissatisfaction:

Complaining is often motivated by a real sensation of discomfort or discontent. When people find themselves in situations that fall short of their expectations, they may express their dissatisfaction verbally. This may happen in a variety of situations, ranging from dissatisfaction with a product or service to annoyance with a specific life event.

Complaining about one’s discontent might have psychological consequences. unhappiness can be expressed verbally, allowing individuals to externalize their feelings and address the root of their unhappiness. This practice is not only cathartic, but it may also be an important step in issue resolution and personal development.

Disagreements between expectations and reality frequently cause unhappiness. Disappointment may occur when people expect a certain outcome or circumstance and then meet a different reality. In this setting, complaints serve as a vocalization of the difference between what was expected and what occurred, motivating contemplation and, ideally, beneficial improvements.

Understanding the nuances of expressing discontent and pain through complaints gives insights into human psychology and behavior. It emphasizes the significance of efficient communication in both personal and professional settings, as well as the function of complaints as catalysts for progress, growth, and positive change.

Needing Validation and Relationship:

Humans are fundamentally social creatures, and complaining may be an effective tactic for seeking recognition and connection. Individuals establish a pathway for empathy and understanding by discussing their problems. This common experience may generate a sense of friendship and solidarity by letting others know they are not alone in their difficulties or disappointments.

The need for validation is a deeply rooted aspect of human nature, as individuals seek reassurance and affirmation from others. Whether it is through sharing our achievements, seeking validation for our opinions, or simply wanting to be heard, validation plays a crucial role in our emotional well-being. By expressing our struggles or disappointments, we open an avenue for empathy and understanding. In turn, this communal experience fosters a sense of connection and camaraderie, reminding us that we are not alone in our challenges. Through these shared experiences, relationships are built, friendships are formed, and a support system is established, providing us with the validation and emotional support we so deeply crave.

Problem Solving and Change Catalyst:

Complaints can be used to spark change. When people express their worries, it acts as a signal that something needs to be addressed or improved. Complaining may also be a productive habit, forcing individuals and organizations to rethink and improve their tactics. Whether customer expresses discontent with a product, or an employee raises a workplace concern, complaints are common. This can lead to positive transformations if done appropriately.

Adaptation Mechanism:

Complaining can be used as a coping strategy in times of stress, disappointment, or misfortune. Speaking out about one’s worries may be a therapeutic outlet, helping people to process their feelings and make sense of a difficult circumstance. In this respect, complaining serves a psychological role by assisting people in navigating the intricacies of their emotions.

Communication and Attention-Seeking:

Some people moan to get attention. This attention-seeking conduct may be motivated by a need for recognition, compassion, or support. Complaints may also be a means of communication, communicating wants, wishes, or frustrations that are difficult to communicate in other ways.

Shared Grievances and Social Bonding:

Complaining can be a social activity that helps people bond. Shared grievances create common ground, fostering a sense of unity among people facing similar challenges. This communal aspect of complaining helps to form social bonds and shared experiences.

Norms of Culture and Society:

Complaining is influenced in part by social and cultural expectations.  Dissatisfaction may be a common way of communicating in some cultures or social groups. Understanding these socioeconomic nuances is essential for appreciating the variety of complaints expressed and received.

Misaligned Expectations:

When there is a mismatch between expectations and reality, this is a major source of complaints. When people anticipate a certain outcome or experience and then encounter a different reality, they may express dissatisfaction. Recognizing and managing these expectations gaps can reduce the frequency and severity of complaints.

Assertion of Influence and Lack of Control:

Complaints can arise from a sense of powerlessness over a situation. In such cases, expressing dissatisfaction verbally becomes a way for people to assert some level of control or influence. Individuals may express their concerns to influence the course of events or to prompt changes that are more in line with their preferences.

Communication of Desires and Needs:

Complaining can be used to communicate unmet needs or desires. When people believe that their needs are not being met, they can use complaints to express those needs and, ideally, prompt responses that lead to solutions or improvements.

In group elements, correspondence of wants and needs alludes to the course of straightforwardly communicating one’s inclinations, assumptions, and prerequisites inside a group setting. It includes conveying your own objectives, goals, concerns, and necessities to other colleagues and paying attention to their longings and requirements also. This correspondence can help with laying out an agreeable and useful workplace, encouraging coordinated effort, understanding, and union among colleagues.

Here are a few central issues to grasp about the correspondence of wants and needs in group elements:

Upgraded coordinated effort: By transparently conveying wants and needs, colleagues have a clearer comprehension of one another’s objectives and can cooperate even more really towards shared targets. It advances a cooperative climate where people can adjust their endeavors towards a typical reason. Promotes understanding: When team members openly share their desires and needs, it helps to foster a deeper understanding and empathy among peers. This understanding allows for better teamwork, reduces conflicts, and helps build a positive and supportive team environment.

Increments straightforwardness: Straightforwardly imparting wants and needs inside a group advances straightforwardness and trustworthiness. It urges people to be forthright about their assumptions, which decreases false impressions and advances trust among colleagues.

Compromise: At the point when wants and needs are imparted, it becomes simpler to address and determine clashes that might emerge inside the group. By seeing each other’s viewpoints and requirements, colleagues can find commonly helpful arrangements and move toward clashes with a receptive outlook.

Further develops inspiration and fulfillment: At the point when wants and needs are recognized and regarded by colleagues, it increments work fulfillment and propels people to pursue individual and group objectives. It makes a feeling of responsibility and satisfaction, prompting more significant levels of commitment and responsibility inside the group.

To guarantee compelling correspondence of wants and needs inside a group, it is essential to develop a culture that empowers transparent discourse. This can be accomplished through normal group gatherings, undivided attention, legitimate input systems, and establishing a protected climate where colleagues feel open to communicating their longings and necessities unafraid of judgment or revenge.


To summarize, complaining is a diverse and complex aspect of human behavior. It serves a variety of functions, including expressing dissatisfaction and seeking validation, as well as acting as a coping mechanism and catalyst for change. Individuals and societies can navigate complaints more effectively if they understand the various motivations behind them, fostering improved communication, problem-solving, and social cohesion. I often see these pointers within our team and with just a simple mis communication will lead to a greater damage to the whole team.

Personal Reflection:

After contemplating on my conclusion, I am reminded of the significance and importance of complaining as a human behavior. The essay highlights a range of functions that complaining serves, such as expressing dissatisfaction, seeking validation, coping with difficulties, and driving change. It emphasizes the importance of understanding the motivations behind complaints to foster better communication, problem-solving, and social cohesion.

Personally, I can relate to the detrimental effects of miscommunication within a team. I have witnessed how a simple misunderstanding, or a lack of effective communication can sometimes have a significant and negative impact on the team. It is disheartening to see how something as seemingly trivial as a miscommunication can escalate into larger issues, leading to damage not only to individual relationships but also to team dynamics and overall productivity.

The whole view on complaining resonates with me because it highlights the need for individuals and societies to navigate complaints more effectively. It requires us to foster a deeper understanding of the motivations behind complaints, whether they stem from a genuine desire for change, a need for validation, or simply as a means of coping with frustration. By recognizing these motivations, we can respond to complaints more empathetically and work towards finding constructive solutions.

Furthermore, this emphasizes the importance of improved communication within teams not just in KAAOS, as it is often through miscommunication that complaints arise. To avoid such situations, it is crucial to promote open and honest dialogue, active listening, and a willingness to understand different perspectives. Through these efforts, we can build stronger relationships, prevent misunderstandings, and ultimately enhance the overall functioning and cohesion of the team.


Kowal, M., Fölsch, C., Heuckmann, I., & Kubanek, A. (2017). Read on 26th of November 2023 Complaining to cope with negative life events: A cross-sectional study in Germany. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology.

Cheung, F. Y. L., & Lucas, R. E. (2014). Read on the 26th of November 2023 When does complaining work? Journal of Positive Psychology.

Wortman, C. B., & Brehm, J. W. (1975). Read on the 24th of November 2023 Responses to uncontrollable outcomes: An integration of reactance theory and the learned helplessness model. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology.

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995).  Read on the 23rd of November 2023 The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin.

Kross, E., & Ayduk, O. (2018). Read on the 24th of November 2023 Facilitating adaptive emotional analysis in the laboratory. Cognition and Emotion.

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